You need to believe. I need to believe. We all need to believe!

February 13, 2007          Comments (2)

This post is inspired by a true story that happened to me while I was taking a random elective in college. I told this story during my final presentation and I earned an A for it.

Just the other day, I was strolling and passed a psychic center and then not more than five minutes after that was a woman sitting on a chair outside offering palm readings. I respectfully declined, as she continued to inhale her cigarette.

It made me think, of course. There are so many businesses out there that really do nothing but prey on people’s emotions. Diet pills or “miracle” pills, beauty spas, hair clubs, money schemes to name just a few. Countless businesses are making tons of money taking advantage of people’s vulnerabilities.

That’s not for me to judge. As long as you can sleep at night then all power to you.

But, how good can you really feel at the end of the day? Are you really having a positive impact on society? Are you making the world a better place?

Forever, I’ll always look at the big business of being a physic as nonsense. Well, maybe…

I was a freshman in college and I had signed up for an elective because I needed to satisfy a certain letter in order to graduate. I don’t recall the letter but the class was called Death & Dying.

It turns out Death & Dying was one of the most interesting classes I took at school. Not only was my teacher the most eccentric person I have ever met but the inner searching and probing that I was forced to do was incredible. I might even say life changing.

As time flew by and the end of the semester was rapidly approaching I found out my final exam was going to be an oral presentation. I forget exactly what it was but somehow I convinced my professor to let me go to a psychic.

I always wanted to see what it was all about so finally I had my chance. How this was acceptable as my final presentation still boggles my mind.

We had a break and I remember going home excited for my visit to the psychic. I had envisioned that behind this blinking, tacky, out of place, red sign was a very mysterious woman that knew how my life was going to turn out. You know with that music; like out of the movies. I created this whole big fantasy and it made me psyched to see her.

I made my appointment for a psychic in Oyster Bay (close to my house, at the time) for a Wednesday at 8:00 P.M.

My mom thought I was crazy and I left my house and got there at 8:00 P.M on the dot. Not late. Not early. Right on the dot and I was pumped.

I wasn’t early because I believe I was caught up in a great episode of Who Wants To be a Millionaire? when Regis still was hosting.

I parked my car and began to knock on the door at 8:02 P.M. No answer. “Okay she’s getting ready. The candles, the music, the crystal ball, everything,” I thought.

No answer.

I began to knock again. But this time, louder.

No answer.

“Okay Adam, maybe she’s finishing up with a client or something.”

I began to knock quicker and louder with a little desperation this time. Like one of those open the door now! knocks because I have to go the bathroom or else.

“Okay, I know she’ll come to the door, give it a few seconds!” Finally, I heard, “Give me a minute! I’ll be right there!”

The voice wasn’t what I expected though. It wasn’t that mysterious, sexy voice I imagined it would be.

Finally, some older lady opens the door. “Hello?” “Hi, I’m Adam Gilbert. I have an 8:00 appointment with Barbara.” The lady looks at me with a surprised stare, “Um, Barbara left for the night. She didn’t think you were coming.”

I was crushed. All of my dreams and hopes of speaking to a psychic were gone in an instant. “What do you mean she didn’t THINK I was coming?”

“I’m Sorry. Do you want to reschedule?”

Immediately I replied, “No. Isn’t she a psychic? She should’ve known I was coming. I wasn’t even late!”

The lady smirked and closed the door.

Thanks to Barbara, from that moment on, I was a close minded clown when it came to believing in psychics’ abilities. Not only that, but I was screwed because I had nothing for my final presentation.

I decided I was going to tell the story of how and why I can prove psychics are phony. This psychic wasn’t even good enough to know and think I was going to be there?!?!

So, after 2 minutes and 20 seconds I made the entire class laugh with my story and real life proof that psychics are phonies. Unfortunately, I was 7 minutes and 40 seconds short of the 10 minute requirement.

Barbara left me hangin’. Barbara also ruined it for me. I always wanted to believe in psychics. I thought it was amazing that some people might be able to use more of their brain or mind or something. But she ruined it for me!

(People want to and need to believe. Kids want to believe Santa is real. People want to believe their cab driver going 80 MPH is a trained professional. People want to believe their deli guy making the sandwich without gloves cleans his hands every 10 minutes. People want to believe that the $80,000 Porsche Cayenne is a superior car. (Did you know that the Cayenne and the $36,000 VW Touareg are virtually the same vehicle, made in the same factory?) People want to believe $125 Pumas (actual cost is $3 in China) are worth it. People want and need to believe!)

Barbara. I know you are out there. Make me a believer again. Leave a comment on my blog. C’mon. You know how much business you’d get if you actually left a comment on my blog? That would be the best marketing in the world!

Barbara! You’d be on every talk show in America. Imagine it.

“I had this feeling that this Guru named Gilbert had this great blog and I just thought his latest post was going to be about me. And I was right! I inherently knew it was GuruGilbert.com because I am, well, a psychic.”

Barbara, I’ll become your marketing guy and manager. You’ll have your own TV show.

You’d make more money than you ever thought possible!

(But, you can’t tell anyone that you never thought you’d be on all of these talk shows and so wildly successful!)



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2 Comments »

  1. this is a classic gurugilbert article. please keep writing because i’ll always keeping reading. very impressive and entertaining.

    -brian

    Comment by Brian — February 13, 2007 @ 3:36 pm

  2. Thanks Brian!

    Comment by Adam — February 14, 2007 @ 12:24 am

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