Red Velvet ropes for all my non New York readers (and I am delighted there are many!) are those stupid looking, 1 ” diameter foam like tubing with some sort of fake velvet material on them, attached to shiny metal poles about 3 feet high, to create the look and feel of prestige.
Usually you’ll see them outside lounges or clubs. But, don’t fret, you can find them in your local bank as well.
Do you really think Red Velvet Ropes work? Subconsciously, do we want to get into the place that the Red Velvet Ropes are guarding more? Is it a case of the classic “I want what I can’t have” conundrum?
I don’t know. But, we’re going to try to answer that.
For anyone that’s heard me joke about lounge/club names (happens to be great marketing because I’m joking about it as opposed to not saying anything) you’ve heard about my love for the name “Twizzler” for a club. I was eating a piece of licorice (chocolate and frozen = heaven) one day and it hit me.
“Twizzler would be a great name for a club, no?” Everyone laughed. Secretly everyone dug it. My friends would always ask me if we were going to Twizzler and it became an inside joke.
So we have Twizzler, our fake obnoxiously overpriced night club being defended by the following:
Your big, bad bouncer: This guy is about 400 pounds, looks like Andre the Giant (usually a black version but occasionally white) and miraculously has some sort of stylish flair to him.
Your typical gorgeous girl: Usually in very close proximity to the former NFL player is this creature that runs the show. This girl is always guaranteed to have a body any girl would kill for and a face to match. These girls ALL have very robust attitudes and a cocky swag.
Male in ultra trendy outfit: Chasing the model around, you’ll always find this guy. These are the guys that do all of the guerilla marketing for Twizzler. You’ll get text messages, emails, phone calls, post cards, birthday cards, letters, IM’s, business cards, windshield flyers, you name it. These guys hustle and I respect it. I did the same for my old businesses (Bingcoupons.com and MyUDC.com). Typically, “Male in ultra trendy outfit” is a scum bag but there are a few good guys out there.
Bright lights: These blinding lights although not always used are a secret weapon. Makes the entrance of Twizzler look like the red carpet and causes people passing by in cars to look. One of the drawbacks is that I can now see how much make up the “typical gorgeous girl is wearing.”
Lots and lots of people: Without this everything falls apart. If all of these people are inside then there is no need for everything above. If there are too many people outside then everything above has even more “power.”
Very cold or very warm people that have to go the bathroom: This is the glitch in the entire system. See without the “very cold or very warm people that have to go the bathroom” Twizzler will go out of business. This is also where that “power” comes from.
“Male in ultra trendy outfit, Your typical gorgeous girl, and Your big, bad bouncer” get all of their “power” because “people just wanting to have some fun” actually don’t really care where they go as long as they are with their friends. They really are just too cold or too hot and have to go the bathroom so they don’t leave.
The nightclub industry could technically be destroyed by portable bathrooms outside establishments like Twizzler. However, smart club owners realized this so they installed “heat lamps.”
Heat lamps: Many girls and guys dress the same all year round so they don’t have to bother with the hassle of checking their coat. “Heat lamps” make it almost impossible for someone to leave because they aren’t cold anymore, even causing people to forget they had to go the bathroom.
So, that’s the line of defense and the planned or unplanned marketing that goes into making these nightclubs hotspots.
I became friendly with the manager at one of my favorite restaurants in all of New York City. He taught me a very valuable lesson. I can’t tell you the name of the restaurant because a) it’s way too small and the wait is already ridiculously long and b) I don’t want to have to deal with you if you don’t think it’s worth the wait.
“Bobby (real name) it’s time to make this place bigger no? These are the best hamburgers in NYC by far! Every time I come here I’m waiting 45 minutes for a freakin’ burger! Open up a few more locations!”
I’ll never forget his words, “Adam, we sell intimacy. If there was never a line, people wouldn’t want to eat here as badly. There’s always people waiting to be seated and it creates a feeling of intimacy, almost exclusivity.”
Now Bobby has been the manager there for 30+ years. That’s wisdom I love hearing. He is exactly right.
It’s the ordeal and process that makes the food that much better. The anticipation of that first juicy bite only gets stronger as the delicious smell radiates throughout.
But, the food is that good! You can’t do that if your food tastes like crap. You have to have a remarkable product. Knowing that you have to wait no matter who you are is also refreshing.
Unlike restaurants, nightclubs favor females although their male counterparts are usually the ones footing the bill.
Now, back to our original question; do you really think Red Velvet Ropes work?
I think Bobby told us the answer. It’s the intimacy and exclusivity that, maybe, we do want. However, if the restaurant or nightclub is garbage then we’ll never wait on line again. If we have the time of our life or meal of our life, there’s a good chance we’ll be back.
Fortunately for restaurants, a delicious hamburger never gets old. And even Bobby let’s VIP in without waiting.
Evidently, Mayor Bloomberg and I have more in common than our love for serving people.
(I sat next to Bloomy last time I was there.)
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