I’ve had a cold for over 3 weeks now that won’t let down. It’s annoying, because when I talk I sound like I’m underwater. And I’m not a big fan of medicine because it doesn’t cure anything. Until I can’t breathe or walk, I stay medicine free.
I also have an older sister (29) who has never swallowed a pill in her entire life and can barely stomach any medicine. At this point, it’s a joke already, but I tell her she better learn how to swallow a pill because, God forbid, if something happens she’s going to be forced to learn and that won’t be fun.
Part of being a little brother means that I have to be a wise ass. Growing up whenever I’d take medicine, I’d always say, “Look Ali, look, is this so hard?”
I’d make it a point to show her that I could take any medicine, no matter how awful, without complaining, no matter how much I hated it. Sometimes, I’d go as far as swallowing pills without water.
This past Sunday, I was hanging out with my sister and Mike (my brother-in-law) at their house. They kept insisting that I take some sort of medicine because they didn’t want to get sick. Even though they were relentless, it was understandable. But of course, being the wise ass that I am, I had to make a few comments.
So my sister goes to her never ending medicine cabinet and gives me a chewable pill, about the size of a very thick quarter. It would take some time to work through it, but it was no obstacle to the man who could take any medicine (at least in front of my sister). I popped it in my mouth and started working.
At first it was pleasant, citrus-like. But the flavor just kept intensifying. It went from mild to strong in about five seconds. By half a minute, it was so harsh my eyes were watering, and I had only chewed about 10% of this pill. I started to worry.
A minute into it, it was so intense, I was going to puke, literally. I ran to the kitchen sink to spit it out, but gave it a few more seconds to see if I could get through it. No medicine had beaten me yet (at least not in front of her), and I wasn’t going to go down easy, especially in front of Mike!
The waves of nausea blew over me, and I knew one of them was going to put me over the edge. It was time to bail. I spit the rest of the pill into the sink, defeated.
While hysterical laughing, they both informed me that the pills aren’t actually pills at all. They are designed to be dissolved in a tall glass of water, like Alka Seltzer.
It goes to show you, never underestimate your competition…but pay-back, is going to be a bitch!
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