My first engagement party and more on marriage

July 29, 2008          Comments (0)

Is this the start of Bar Mitzvah season all over again for us Gen Y-ers? Except the grown up version?

This past Saturday I went to my first engagement party. And again a warm congrats!

I don’t say that facetiously either. Clearly, they are both very happy or else they wouldn’t be going through with this. And the ultimate defense to anything is happiness. If someone says they are happy there’s nothing more you can (or should) say. (Not that I’m trying to stop him.)

I believe happiness is what life is all about. But it’s also relative. I also believe some people are willing to fight way more for their own happiness than others.

Let’s compare girls versus guys for a second. I was having a conversation the other day with a girl who I think is super smart and I respect tremendously. Here is what she said:

“Very often when dating and meeting guys, girls have this mindset that, “Oh I can work with this…” Whereas guys are more likely to think “The grass is greener on the other side” — there’s something better out there. Girls are more likely or willing to work things through, and take what they’ve got and ‘work with it’ as opposed to guys who just think ‘this isn’t good enough – there’s got to be something better’ and don’t try to make what they have work.”

I have my own theory of this that rings to that tone. I hardly ever see a physically attractive guy with a not-so physically attractive girl. Yet, I always see not-so physically attractive dudes with attractive women. What’s the deal?

Well, per my super smart friend, girls are willing to settle if most of the things on their ‘mental check list’ are checked off. They can forgo this and that.

Yet, guys, she says, “Will forgo their entire mental check list – if they even have one- if they meet an attractive girl.”

I disagree. As we all wise and mature, poodles become almost unbearable. At least for me. As they say ‘Beauty fades, dumb is forever!’

I asked her if she’ll ever be 100% sure she knows the person she’s with is for her. She said, “I don’t think so, how can you ever be 100% sure?”

Really? Then how the heck can you commit to being with someone for the rest of your life? (No wonder my marriage post has over 100 comments and counting…)

Going back to the original point. I find it amazing that people settle in the first place.

Why are girls more willing to settle than guys? Isn’t settling an act of desperation?

And could you possibly be a good boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife if you’re thinking “there’s something better out there”?

Clearly, something is missing if you’re thinking that, no?



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