My first engagement party and more on marriage

Is this the start of Bar Mitzvah season all over again for us Gen Y-ers? Except the grown up version?

This past Saturday I went to my first engagement party. And again a warm congrats!

I don’t say that facetiously either. Clearly, they are both very happy or else they wouldn’t be going through with this. And the ultimate defense to anything is happiness. If someone says they are happy there’s nothing more you can (or should) say. (Not that I’m trying to stop him.)

I believe happiness is what life is all about. But it’s also relative. I also believe some people are willing to fight way more for their own happiness than others.

Let’s compare girls versus guys for a second. I was having a conversation the other day with a girl who I think is super smart and I respect tremendously. Here is what she said:

“Very often when dating and meeting guys, girls have this mindset that, “Oh I can work with this…” Whereas guys are more likely to think “The grass is greener on the other side” — there’s something better out there. Girls are more likely or willing to work things through, and take what they’ve got and ‘work with it’ as opposed to guys who just think ‘this isn’t good enough – there’s got to be something better’ and don’t try to make what they have work.”

I have my own theory of this that rings to that tone. I hardly ever see a physically attractive guy with a not-so physically attractive girl. Yet, I always see not-so physically attractive dudes with attractive women. What’s the deal?

Well, per my super smart friend, girls are willing to settle if most of the things on their ‘mental check list’ are checked off. They can forgo this and that.

Yet, guys, she says, “Will forgo their entire mental check list – if they even have one- if they meet an attractive girl.”

I disagree. As we all wise and mature, poodles become almost unbearable. At least for me. As they say ‘Beauty fades, dumb is forever!’

I asked her if she’ll ever be 100% sure she knows the person she’s with is for her. She said, “I don’t think so, how can you ever be 100% sure?”

Really? Then how the heck can you commit to being with someone for the rest of your life? (No wonder my marriage post has over 100 comments and counting…)

Going back to the original point. I find it amazing that people settle in the first place.

Why are girls more willing to settle than guys? Isn’t settling an act of desperation?

And could you possibly be a good boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife if you’re thinking “there’s something better out there”?

Clearly, something is missing if you’re thinking that, no?

My latest magazine column and why $1 is so important and ideas vs. opportunities

I was on the phone yesterday with an entrepreneur from Texas who has a great business idea. Or, so he thought.

He emailed me about 6 months ago and we’ve been corresponding back and forth. I always love hearing from my readers and passionate entrepreneurs and try to help whenever I can.

However, there is a very big difference between a great idea and a great business idea.

For example, a great idea is coming out with black and brown band-aids. Why not have band-aids that match black and brown people’s skin color too?! But that’s not a great business idea. Companies like Johnson & Johnson and P & G would eat your lunch.

They already have the distribution and the factory and the deep pockets to launch this product virtually over night. Creating a company that is going to produce brown and black band-aids is not a good business idea. But it’s a good idea.

So as we started talking I sensed his enthusiasm and was really excited for him. However, I asked him how he intends to make money.

“Well, I’m not sure,” he said. “I’ll figure that out later.”

Sorry but that’s wrong!

If you’re starting a business, especially as a younger entrepreneur, you need to focus on your revenue model. Please note: I’m not saying you shouldn’t focus on serving your customers/clients. I am obsessed with client service. But I’m able to make money by obsessively servicing my clients. I knew how that was going to happen from day 1.

I love his idea. It’s fantastic. I’m always interested in investing and helping very early stage companies with a great idea but you need to know how you’re going to make money. And before I’d ever invest in a company, I’d want to know that they’ve, at least, made $1.

The most important dollar you’re ever going to make is your very first dollar. You know someone is willing to (and wants to) pay for your product.

Unless you have extremely deep pockets you can’t afford to run a business that’s not generating revenue. Before you bet the entire farm on your business make some money. Crawl before you walk!

My latest magazine column for Millionaire Blueprints Teen is exactly about this. Check it out:
The PDF is attached here.

And to my man from Dallas, we’ll get there. But first we’re going to focus on crawling and we’ll be running in no time!

All of my people say Big Mac! “Big Mac!” The future of advertising is here…

The future of advertising is having your loyal customers create advertising for you.

Companies that are killing it in today’s economy embrace their customers. They realize without their customers they have no business. And they don’t act like monopolies.

They also cater relentlessly to their clients and customers.

They don’t create products and services and then find people to sell them to like the old days. No. They find people who have a problem or a pain that needs to be solved and create products and services for those people.

And just like successful businesses are changing how they go from concept to creation to marketing; they are changing how they market the products they created.

At least, the successful ones are.

Why? Because in our media-overwhelmed, hyper-cluttered world attention is hard to come by.

With more and more people watching less and less commercials, it’s very different (and difficult and extremely costly) to get the attention of people.

There are no longer just 3 major TV stations that everyone watches or 3 major magazines that everyone reads.

If you’re going to seek out attention (which is imperative as a company) you need to be attention worthy.

If you want people to stop what they’re doing to watch your TV commercial you need to make it worth their time. You also need to make sure you frame your message in the right way.

Who better than your customers to help you do that?

As I’m working on my new website, my clients have become invaluable resources. I’m constantly asking them questions. The number one question I ask them is, “What does MyBodyTutor do?”

The answers I get are astounding. Of course, I know what I do. But to hear it from your clients makes everything crystal clear. Involving my clients, my fans – the people, who are voting with their wallet, is the only way in my mind to create my messaging.

So, long blog post short, McDonald’s is doing something pretty cool. They are holding a contest to see who can create the best 30 second Big Mac chant. And the winner will have their chant and commercial on TV.

The 5 finalists have created some pretty amazing chants. My vote is Track 2. The other ones are a little too ‘rap-ish’ for TV and Track 2 is very Justin Timberlake-ish which is a great tie in to the whole ‘I’m loving it’ campaign they did with him. You’ll hear what I mean.

It’s like what Dorito’s has done for their Super Bowl commercials the past few years and it has been a huge hit.

So, all of people say: My…Body…Tutor!

“My…Body…Tutor!”

Warning: If you like reality TV you should read this!

And if you want to be a future reality TV star you must read this!

I admit it. I watch my share of reality TV. It’s mindless entertainment and sometimes that’s just what we need.

As we all know by now, reality TV isn’t really reality. It’s just using ‘real’ people to stage scenes, etc.

The intoxicating allure of it has created so many new ‘stars’ that aren’t even actors. They are just reality TV stars. Take, for example, ‘New York’ from the hit series, “I love New York.” She really is trying to make it as an actress in Hollywood now.

But the problem is no one cares about her acting abilities. People just care to watch her ‘reality’ and her search for love. Let’s look at Brooke Hogan. She is (or was) an aspiring pop star. On the reality show, “Hogan knows best” they showed her singing and working out and really trying to make it happen.

Again though, I don’t really care about her singing abilities. I’m more interested in seeing her ‘reality’ and because of this her singing career isn’t going anywhere; yet her reality show career seems to just be getting started. Some might say Joe Simpson is a genius for getting his kids their own reality shows.

After all, exposure is the name of the game. A lot of fun and exciting things can happen from exposure. But if you’re not exposing yourself to what you stand for, to what your business is and to what you’re trying to accomplish then I think you’re doomed.

Why take someone who has real talent (or at least the ability to sell lots of albums) like Jessica Simpson and turn her into a ‘Paris Hilton’ type? No one cares about Jessica Simpson’s singing career anymore.

Let’s take for example, Bethenny Frankel of “The real housewives of NYC.” Even though I have a huge crush on her, I’m not so sure this was the best move for her. She is an entrepreneur, “A celebrity natural food chef” as she likes to call herself and is trying to build a brand. She wants to ‘democratize health by making it accessible to everyone’.

I am all for that. However, the problem is I don’t really care about her business endeavors anymore (I watched her on Martha Stewart’s Apprentice). I care more about her relationship with her boyfriend. Are they together? Are they not together?

How about Bret Michaels who had his own show called “Rock of love”. I was never a Poison fan. And I’m sure he has plenty of new fans who’ve never heard a single song of his.

I certainly don’t care when he’s releasing his next album. All I know is that he made the saying, “Will you rock my world?” popular again and I’m curious to know if he’s still with Amber.

But then you have an enterprising woman like Patti Stranger who stars in her own reality show, “Millionaire Matchmaker.” I think this is a brilliant move. Her show is about her business. And her business is interesting enough that people want to watch her (and her clients) in action.

Even the “Making the band” series by Puff Daddy isn’t a terrible idea. However, when he’s on his 4th or 5th season (I can’t keep track of them anymore) you begin to question if he’s in the business of making ‘hot’ records or just ‘hot’ reality TV. There’s no authenticity behind his shows anymore (and that’s critical) but they are fun to watch.

And that serves a purpose too. But for him. Not for the aspiring singers or rappers. It’s his show. He’s the executive producer. He’s the one getting paid, regardless.

If you just want to be famous, for fame’s sake then by all means sign up for a show. But if you’re really trying to do something besides becoming famous, I’m not so sure it’s your best move unless your show is about your business. Otherwise, you’re branding yourself as a ‘reality TV star’ whether you realize it or not.

And B. Frankel hit me up if it didn’t workout with Jason. I’m sure you use Google Alerts – so I’m sure you’ll read this. Be the cougar you know you want to be.

We’ll take over the health and fitness world together. And we’ll have our own reality show about our businesses.

And then you can say, “GuruGilbert & MyBodyTutor” rocks MY world!

[Some comments over at BrazenCareerist.com too!]

My brilliant idea on how to solve the homeless problem (at least in NYC)!

I hate seeing homeless people. It makes me sad (and so grateful at the same time). And lately, I feel like I’m seeing them more and more.

So let’s solve the homeless problem (at least in NYC)!

One day, I hope to be in a position where I can make significant change with time and money. But for now, I have some ideas. So here is mine and it’s based on this great quote:

“God can only help those who want to be helped.”

1. We’ll have a group of volunteers that actually engages with the homeless. They won’t just give them food. That doesn’t solve the problem. “Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime.”

They will talk to them (if possible) and learn more about them. Most importantly, they’d learn if these people want to make a change and want to clean up their act and want help.

2. Once they decide they want help, they will be moved into a home; a gorgeous one with really nice amenities. I want to show them the possibilities this world has to offer. They will ONLY be allowed to stay in this home if they agree to detox. We must help them fight their addictions.

3. Once they complete their detox program and are completely sober – whether it takes several weeks or several months – (My main concern is that they are drug and alcohol free) they will begin a simple 1 week refresher class on life.

Most homeless people weren’t always homeless. So these people (once they are clean) will be able to learn and relearn how the real world works.

4. Since they are now drug and alcohol free (which is the biggest part of the problem) and a psychologist* has given them the thumbs up – they will be entered into our work program after completing our 1 week refresher class.

5. Our work program is simple. From 8 AM -6 PM (under close supervision to make sure they don’t fall back into bad habits) they will sit on the corner they used to sit on. This will give them a taste of how bad their life really was. And now that they’re sober, they’ll be able to appreciate how bad it really was.

6. Here’s where the big idea comes into play. Instead of holding a sign like the one above, the sign would have a company logo. Say for example, MyBodyTutor.com.

It would be a nice shiny sign with some indication on it that they are part of the ADG program (We’ll call it the Adam Drew Gilbert program for now).

7. Everyone loves an underdog and everyone loves to help people out. Especially, someone that is trying to get his/her act together. People appreciate that greatly.

Continue reading “My brilliant idea on how to solve the homeless problem (at least in NYC)!”

Book Review: Sway: The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior (Plus win a copy!)

I was lucky enough to get a copy of Ori and Rom Brafman’s Sway which is on the New York Times Bestseller list. Why do perfectly rational people make irrational decisions?

Well, that’s exactly why I found this book so fascinating because it’s all about the hidden psychological influences that disrupt our ability to make good decisions which is so critical in life (and business).

Did you ever wonder why it’s so difficult to sell a plummeting stock or end a doomed relationship?

Why do we listen to advice just because it came from someone “important”? Why are we more likely to fall in love when there’s danger involved?

In Sway, all of these questions are answered and more.

This book reveals the many dynamic forces that influence our personal and business lives, including loss aversion (our tendency to go to great lengths to avoid perceived losses), the diagnosis bias (our inability to reevaluate our initial diagnosis of a person or situation), and the “chameleon effect” (our tendency to take on characteristics that have been assigned to us).

Sway introduces you to the Harvard Business School professor who convinced his students to pay more than $200 for a $20 bill, the head of airline safety whose disregard for his years of training led to the transformation of an entire industry, and the football coach who turned conventional strategy on its head to lead his team to victory.

You’ll also learn the curse of the NBA draft, discover why interviews are a terrible way to gauge future job performance, and go inside a session with the Supreme Court to see how the world’s most powerful justices avoid the dangers of group dynamics.

Should I buy this book Adam?

Yes! Without a question. It’s a really interesting and fun book and makes for a perfect beach or pool side read. If you like books like Blink and Freakonomics you’ll love this book!

How can I win a copy of this book?

Email me at GuruGilbert [at] yahoo [dot] com and tell me 3 reasons why you want this book. Last time I did a give away it was pretty cut and dry. But since this book is all about irrational decisions and why we make them, I figure this will be more fun. Please put ‘Book give away’ as the subject of the email. Deadline is midnight on Monday the 14th.

Go work your magic and I’ll post an update below as to who the winner is and there 3 reasons.

[Update: The winner is Gary from Chicago. The main reason why I chose him is because he told me recently that he ‘never, ever, reads blogs’ and he is also a client of mine. So I was quite surprised when I got an email from him. I’m sorry to all of you who emailed me some great answers and reasons. Gary’s answers were quite simple:

1. This is the first blog I have ever read. I must say I’ve become a regular reader of your blog and really enjoy it!

2. You, your company and your program rock. And as you know, I’ve referred over 10 people to your business.

3. I have never won anything before. So as you say, “Make it happen” for me!

How can I resist guys? I told you this was an irrational contest. The next one will be a lot more cut and dry. Promise.]