Does getting married serve any purpose these days?

June 3, 2008          Comments (5)

Lately, I feel like people left and right are getting married or engaged. In fact, one of my boys (and old roommate) recently got engaged. Congrats again bro.

But is marriage a natural thing?

Are we supposed to be with the same person for the rest of our lives?

The divorce rates are alarming. 50% is the latest number. 1 out of 2 couples are going to wind up marrying their ex-husband/wife. That’s insane and divorce is certainly not something to be taken lightly; especially with kids.

My parents got separated when I was 4 years old and divorced soon after that. I remember being the only kid in my elementary school with divorced parents. But then as I got older it seemed like more and more parents were getting divorced and I was no longer in the minority.

So what is the point of marriage if 1 out of 2 happy couples are choosing to ruin their perfectly good relationship?

Let’s explore:

Social – security: Meaning whenever you’re bored, you always have something to do. But what happens if you’re never bored?

Financial – security: If you marry someone who will be rich, or is rich, or both, you will certainly be rich. A lot of people will do crazy things for money, unfortunately. But what if you have your own money?

Caring – security: You have someone who will do anything in the world for you. Nice. But there are plenty of single people who have friends/family who will do anything in the world for them too and plenty of married people who don’t.

Sexual – security: You always have someone to be intimate with that you hopefully truly care about. That’s cool. Not much I can say about that, however, there are plenty of single people who don’t have to worry about that. And there are plenty of married people who still do.

Children: I’m starting to believe that there is no reason for ‘marriage’ unless you are going to have children together. What’s the difference between a non-married couple living together and a married couple living together?

Nothing! My sister and bro-in-law lived together before they got married. Nothing changed…except my sister’s last name.

So what does marrying someone actually do? Some might argue that it provides security. You always have someone and they just can’t pick up and leave.

Here’s my counter. The type of person that’s living with their significant other and is willing to move out of your apartment and start all over again…is definitely the same type of person who’d divorce you. And why the heck would you want to be with someone if they don’t want to be with you anyway?

I think marriage is just a contract. Like any contract there are pros and cons. There are exciting parts of the deal and not so exciting parts of the deal.

And ultimately, I think marriage is something people just do. It just happens. Like becoming a cog in a wheel.

Except in a nice way.

[Update: Join the awesome debate on!!!!]

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  1. This is a fantastic post and one that made me think a lot…your posts are getting better and better. Keep up the great writing!!

    Comment by dl — June 3, 2008 @ 4:59 pm

  2. Coming from someone who never though he would get married, but did, I can see where you’re coming from.

    I think the institution of marriage has lost a lot of its “sanctity.” I also think now people are thinking more about themselves and what they want, instead of what they’re expected to do or be.

    For me, marriage has been a blessing. The security of knowing that I will be with my wife the rest of my life is something beautiful that I can’t quite describe. It just feels right.

    I do however think that it’s not a decision to make lightly. You need to be comfortable in your own skin and choose your partner out of love and respect, rather than convenience and security.

    Comment by Jonathan Mead — June 5, 2008 @ 5:57 pm

  3. Jonathan-

    Thanks so much for your insights. I totally agree with you as far as choosing your partner based on love and respect as opposed to convenience and security which is what I feel like many people do.

    “Wow, we’re 30 years old, we’re dating…I guess we need to get married now…”

    There is an incredible conversation going on over here by the way:

    Comment by Adam Gilbert — June 6, 2008 @ 9:31 am

  4. […] Last week I wrote a post entitled ‘Does getting married serve any purpose these days?’ With 70 + comments from people either for or against marriage, it is truly fascinating to read all of the view points. This post generated a lot of buzz and rightfully so. […]

    Pingback by Guru Gilbert » Is there really such a thing as soul mates? Really? — June 9, 2008 @ 1:33 pm

  5. […] Last week I wrote a post entitled ‘Does getting married serve any purpose these days?’ With 70 + comments (and counting) from people either for or against marriage, it is truly fascinating to read all of the view points. This post generated a lot of buzz and rightfully so.After all, relationships are what life is about. As Adriana says, “the best things in life are free but not many people realize that.” […]

    Pingback by Is There Really Such A Thing As Soulmates? Really? : Brazen Careerist — June 9, 2008 @ 4:12 pm

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